plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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