I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My breath smells like gin and sadness