You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
