you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
