I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
