dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
