You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
