can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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