A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
