Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
