if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
