May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
