we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
