Three words: puerto rican gang bang
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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