My liver just broke up with me...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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