tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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