As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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