And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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