My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
