I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
