Whod you bang
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
