Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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