im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
