I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
