I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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