Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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