also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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