The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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