Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
