She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize