were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
