you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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