Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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