i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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