i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize