Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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