Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
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