Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
