If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
