I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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