Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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