I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize