Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
