Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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