Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
