Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
