I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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