remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
