In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
