Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
