Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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