She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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