Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
