So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
