maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize