I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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