Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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vagina is talking i cant
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize