i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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