Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
