He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
