I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
