We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
