Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I could fuck to npr.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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