Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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