I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
third nipple confirmed
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
